"None of us suddenly becomes something overnight. The preparations have been in the making for a lifetime.- Gail Goodwin
It's the night before my Jayden will start 1st grade {technically it's the morning of} and though I should be asleep my night owl nature has fully kicked in! Instead of sleeping I've been reading a lot of inspiring industry blogs in the last hour or so, mainly from Lesly Kahn & Amy Lyndon, and it's got me revved up. Plus I've had the words from this video ringing in my head since I saw it a few days ago...

Note: Email subscribers can view the video here- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fsm-QbN9r8&feature=related, it's definitely worth taking a moment to watch. I've seen it 5 times now.

After watching that it's kind of hard not to ask yourself, how badly do I really want to be successful? Seriously, how bad do I want it? And what exactly does that "it" really mean to me?

Well I'll tell you, for me "it" means owning a home with a yard for my kids to play in.

"It" means having an emergency fund with a years worth of our salary in case of an actual emergency.

"It" means having good health insurance.

"It" means making a good FANTASTIC living as a working actor.

"It" means being able to proudly answer the dreaded question, "What have I seen you in lately?"

"It" means being able to pay off our student loans and still have disposable income.

"It" means entertaining someone with a performance that makes them laugh.

"It" means touching someone with a performance that makes them cry.

"It" means provoking someone with a performance that makes them think...and then take action.

"It" means being a member of all 3 actor unions.

"It" means being able to write & produce roles for black minority actors that are 3 dimensional.

"It" means being able to visit family who live on the other side of the country without it being a hardship.

"It" means making enough money as an actor that the people who once thought or still think my husband was/is crazy to "follow" me all the way to LA will one day have to eat their words.

"It" means being in a position to speak for people who might not be able to speak for themselves because when they do, they're ignored.

"It" means doing my part to financially and emotionally support my family while still being fulfilled.

How badly do I want it? 
More than I can tell you.
More than I can even begin to try to describe.
Imagine, really wanting success as badly as you want need to breathe? That's hard to truly comprehend. And yet, I agree wholeheartedly with this guy. This industry is not for the weary or for the faint of heart. If I really want the success I *SAY* I want, I've got to do better. I've got to! This is not me beating myself up. This is me just writing the truth.

This means, I've got to submit to more commercial agents. And if I'm still not getting any bites then I've got to get some new headshots!

I've got to get back in class. I've GOT to get back in class!!! It is so clear to me right now that I'm so not ready for a manager or theatrical agent that there's no point in me submitting to any of them anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, I'm very confident in my raw talent & ability but the training I've received from my performing arts high school and my theatre program in college just isn't enough to compete with the level of talent that's out here. LA is the SUPERBOWL OF ACTING people. To attract the kind of representation that I'm targeting I've got to step my game up and get back in class. I've been getting more hours at work lately so I've got to find a way to use the extra income to finish what I've started with DWP and still dig in with new training!

I've got to do something EVERYDAY towards my career and I mean beyond self-submissions. The idea of keeping regular office hours as the CEO of my acting business makes a lot of sense to me. Sure the hours will change on a daily basis but the point is that everyday I'll actively do something to help advance my career. I mentioned before that I need to read more plays anyhow, so reading plays, seeing plays, doing table reads, going on coffee dates, joining acting associations {I'm looking at you Actors Network & Women in Film}, attending networking events & film festivals and of course writing, auditioning and actually BOOKING something all count towards those hours.

Watch the video again, check out part 2 as well and then ask yourself how bad do you want it?

Whatever that "it" means to you.
3 Responses
  1. Lenita Says:

    Yayy !!! Go Brandi....that there is TRUTH ! So proud of you............

  2. Hey Brandi -

    I'm 6 months late seeing this, but somehow still right on time. I really needed to see this video right now.

    Keep doing "it." I see you.


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